I arrived at CTF- Soledad 5-31, my property 6-14. Everything I own was in two cardboard boxes. I cant stand to think of all I lost due to my crime: Home, business, family, even my reputation. All Gone. Methamphetamine- maker of fools.
Waiting for my issue of indigent envelopes. I am trying to use some that were issued at High Desert. I spend a lot of time in here waiting. I guess that is the main thing prisoners do. Wait for a release date. Others wait for court rulings. Some simply wait to die.
This state has two death sentences. One honest, the other far more slow and cruel. The honest one has a date. You know that on your date the state will end your waiting.
I have the other one. The prison says I am lucky. I have a parole date. I am better off than the man on death row. So they say. My parole date is a cruel joke, July 1, 1970.
Me and that man on death row, we know the truth. We both will leave prison in a body bag. I just don’t know my date. My ax can fall any day. But I guess that is true of us all.
Sorry if I seem a bit morbid today. Once in a while I feel like kicking up a little dust- grave yard dust that is. At my age I feel entitled to.