Everyone has heard of “A.A.” Me, I became a member of N.A. Drugs was my downfall. All makes, all kinds. Of course I had to wash it all down with alcohol. I guess that’s why I had to make a few of those A.A. meetings also.
But when it came down to finding a sponsor and working the steps, it had to be N.A. I had heard that some of those old timers (over 15 years sober) in A.A. just switched their drug of choice from booze to prescribed medication. I couldn’t do that. I had to stop it all.
After finding a great sponsor and working the first 3 steps, I got to number 4- Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Wow! No wonder so many people did the “3 step relapse” dance. After working the first 3 steps, couldn’t face their fears with a moral inventory so they went back out to use again.
Me, I was determined to stay clean. I went ahead and wrote down all my dirty laundry. I keep it hidden in a good place because I didn’t want my roommate to find it. Finally my sponsor set a date to do a step 5 with him.
Step 5- “Admitt to god, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Confession time! Boy was I sweating, worried that after it was over with, my sponsor would have nothing to do with me again. But during my “drag my soul over hot coals” event, he shared some of his wrong doings with me. That helped me so much. I was able to finish and move on to the rest of the steps with no problem. I realized then that confessions really are “good for the heart.”