Erik Cathell, July 20, 2012 Excerpt
I have never written a journal/diary before about what’s on my mind or goes on throughout my everyday- I’ve written letters and expressed my thoughts/feelings to others so could that be considered a journal?…If so then I’ve wrote a few of them, not many because I have a problem with trusting or relaying (for a lack of better words) to others my inner thoughts, not that I’m deceitful or untrustworthy. It’s sorta like a ‘disclosure’ in a contract. I only divulge what’s important for you to understand (me), no more or less until the time calls for disclosing any more. I guess that’s the benefit of writing a journal because you get to disclose everything and anything on paper to someone you can trust- which is yourself, and if I can’t trust myself first then who can I trust. It’s raining today (I enjoy the rain) and I’m fasting and my thoughts are being pulled in so many different directions all at once it seems. No I’m not crazy- I like to think of it as “multi-tasking”, and being able to entertain different thoughts at the same time or shift back and forth from one thing to another. Yet get everything done (sometimes). I sit and ask myself-why is it that we (I’m included) always have a quick fix or answer to other people’s situations but can’t always fix our own- like the question of who is the psychologists’ psychologist?” I have questions that i want answered that have yet to be answered and can only be answered by me or Allah (God)…….